Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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