How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
