all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
