If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize