haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
this is an emotional support booty call
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
