Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
