she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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