i jhust puked up my retainher.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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