Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Actions speak louder than pants.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i would one night stand the shit outta him
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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