girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
