You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
