they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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