I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize