I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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