I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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