mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
