I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
