no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
