i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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