you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize