So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
