No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
