3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
