I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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