You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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