I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
