I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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