I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
