Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
