this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
