It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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