Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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