I think my fart just growled at me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
