i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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