Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
