I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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