I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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