i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
