i need an iv and a liver transplant
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
