I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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