your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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