He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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