Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just google imaged poop.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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