Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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