Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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