oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize