It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize