At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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