I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
