I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
