So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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