he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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