ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I wear drunk well.
I think my moral compass just broke
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
