So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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