I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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