just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
