my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
