it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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