I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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