so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize