Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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