It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Can I color on your dick again?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
