did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
