Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just had sex on a roof
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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